Is it really that wrong?

A few days ago Alexander set his status message on Facebook to say something to the effect of ” I’m looking forward to going home so I can hug and kiss my wife, hug and kiss my kids, and drive my Mustang. Hopefully in that order.” I commented on the status and basically said that it would only be myself and Reed at the airport because she’s the only kid who knows when he’s coming home. I don’t want to tell the other kids yet, because the military is really good at messing things up and delaying flights and I don’t want to disappoint them. Reed is really good at understanding that things change, and she’s okay knowing that if he gets delayed, he will eventually get here. I’d rather Alexander get to surprise the younger kids anyway. I thought that it was a good idea, and Alexander agreed that it would be fun to surprise them all next Wednesday afternoon. Then yesterday evening I received a message in my inbox on Facebook saying that it was mean of me to not tell all the kids that their father is coming home on leave next week. The message was from one of Alexander’s Facebook “friends”, I think. The individual basically said I was a terrible mother for keeping something that big from my kids. While it may be true that Brookes would understand if things go awry, I doubt the others would. Reed is 7 and used to her father being away a lot. Brookes is more used to it than a 5 year old should be, but he still doesn’t like it. Since the next one down is Madeline, and she’s absolutely in love with Alexander, I’m not going to get her hopes up. Beau is too young to understand delays, so he wouldn’t react well. And the twins don’t really care one way or another.
Because of all that, is it really so bad that I’m withholding information from my children? Isn’t it better to give them a good surprise when Alexander walks through the door with us than to disappoint them if he doesn’t get here when scheduled? Being the children of two Marines, life is going to be full of deployments and assignments that will take us away from home for various lengths of time. I’d like to do what I can to keep the letdowns to a minimum, when I can help it. By not telling them that Alexander is coming home for 11 days, I’m not making them look forward to something and then possibly be disappointed if he doesn’t get here when expected. I don’t see how that’s a bad thing to do.

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